Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Genuine agreement must be reached in order for everyone to be satisfied. Afterwards,
frequent evaluations of the situation and open discussion of each other's feelings can help
to prevent bitterness or resentment from building up.
I S GOING HOME THE RIGHT DECISION ?
“I've had it with this place,” Stanley said. “Things are too crazy here. I really cannot
stay and keep my sanity.”
Stanley and his wife Karen, both teachers in their mid-thirties, have been living in
Jakarta for six years. They have made plans to leave Indonesia at the end of the school
term. However, as the time nears, Stanley has become agitated, tense and depressed.
“On the other hand, I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm starting to wonder
whether I've made the right decision,” he said. “Just thinking about all the things we
have to do before leaving is tiring. I have no energy these days. Am I going through
mid-life crisis?”
Stanley is confused by his own reaction and doesn't know how to deal with it.
His behavior is an anxiety reaction towards imminent change. The decision which
will affect both him and his family puts tremendous pressure on him to make it “right”.
However, people in such a state easily feel confused and doubt their ability to make sound
judgments.
Stanley claims that both he and Karen are fed up with the lifestyle in Jakarta and are
willing to give up what they have to return home. Yet after years of settling into one place,
the thought of moving is understandably quite stressful.
They came to Indonesia, excited about moving halfway around the world, in their late
twenties. But when people reach their mid-thirties many tend to be less adventurous than
before. Stability and security assume greater importance. Inevitably more things will be
taken into consideration before making another big move.
As much as he wants to get out of Jakarta and go back home, he is also worried about
“starting all over again”. The opportunities for teachers back home are few and not so well
paid as his job in Indonesia. The idea of facing the tight job market puts his fragile confid-
ence on trial. Under such circumstances, it is not uncommon for second thoughts to arise.
The idea of staying put in a familiar and comfortable environment suddenly seems attract-
ive.
Giving up all the things he spent years building up is frightening and painful. He begins
to question his own values. “My dislike of the lifestyle: is it a good enough reason for me
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