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valuable in military terms. India's bewildering variety of politics
usually coexist in a kind of querulous harmony. Usually .
Relaxing his grip on the accelerator for the first time in fifteen
minutes, the driver zigzagged through cows, donkeys and people,
coming to a jarring halt in the heart of a stupefyingly chaotic and
noisy fruit and vegetable bazaar.
'Bombay Ananda Bhavan?' I asked, hoping it wasn't.
The driver raised a grimy palm. He clambered out and began a
belligerent conversation with a skinny and toothless man who must
have been at least ninety-five years old. Both lit up beedies, the tiny,
lung-ripping cigarettes wrapped in leaf that in those days cost about
a cent for fifty and still weren't worth the price. The old man pointed
in several different compass directions over the course of this
conversation, and I detected a look of desperation in my driver's
eyes as he glanced my way.
'Grant Road,' I reminded him.
I soon learned that, in India, even someone who lived on Grant
Road might be unable to tell you how to get to Grant Road - not
that this would prevent him from offering utterly wrong directions.
There was a certain shame in admitting you didn't know, so people
frequently and confidently offered complex and entirely erroneous
instructions. The driver evidently knew this and was not about to
head off in the five different directions suggested by the old man.
He waylaid a porter carrying about a ton of huge red bananas on his
head. This man had been using tar for toothpaste, by the look of his
mouth, and had one eye so bloodshot it could have been recently
boiled. He uttered what sounded like one word a hundred syllables
long. The driver pulled on his beedie, brows knotted. Then he
jumped back and, sitting sidesaddle now, zipped off at maximum
velocity, terrifying animals and any humans unfortunate enough
to be in our path.
Twice more I endured similar stops, and presumably similar
misinformation. Finally we hit Mahatma Gandhi Road - there is at
least one of these in every town and city the length and breadth of the
subcontinent. Then we turned onto St. Mark's Road and off this onto
a quiet, lushly tropical street of large, stately houses and bungalows
. . . actually labelled Grant Road.
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