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then emptied out an old cigar box full of clips and screws and things
with tufts of frayed wire on them. He stamped on this box forcefully,
making the woman jump with fright, and then selected fat splinters
from it. He wrapped his wires around these and thrust them into
the sockets, receiving at least one vicious electric shock by so doing.
Finally, he slapped on switches, and needles began to float in their
illuminated windows.
'Yeah?' said the woman, when Otis announced that he was ready.
'That right? Wait.' She disappeared.
I told Otis that the mangled heap of wires and boxes didn't look
much like a camera to me. He seemed perplexed, then explained
that it wasn't the camera. It was something that measured
electromagnetic waves maybe. The camera was in the box he hadn't
opened yet. It apparently required no setting up.
Two unreasonably beautiful orange women floated into the
room, followed by the New Yorker. Both were young, fresh-faced,
and very clean looking.
'Stand here ,' the New Yorker told us, pointing at a spot on the
linoleum near the beauties.
Otis and I obediently scuttled over and stood. Surely not? I
thought. And for once I was right. One blonde leaned very close to
me and began sniffing. She sniffed in circles around my head, then
began to work her way down, gradually kneeling as she sniffed
almost every inch from crown of head to grimy toes (I had been
asked to remove my battered loafers before entering the building).
Otis underwent the same treatment from the other woman, looking
very entertained by it.
I glanced at the New Yorker, who seemed to be supervising this
very seriously. I was hoping someone might offer an explanation -
not that any man would mind these women sniffing him, or indeed
doing with him whatever they felt like doing.
'Bhagwan has allergies,' the New Yorker announced abruptly.
'He can't stand odours or clones.'
'Clones?'
'Coll-lones,' she said pointedly. 'Or poy-fumes. He's very sensitive
to gross material vibes.'
Finally, these two sniffers swept out in the same unearthly silence
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