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also gloating eyes, hungry eyes, eyes that wanted something from
you. He'd probably spent a lot of time in front of a mirror, practising
with these eyes. He knew how to open the lids so that, framed by
white, those eyes could pierce. He knew also how to close the lids
and appear to be gazing upon another world, a hidden realm.
He understood the value of silence, too. In fact, he ended up
realising that he had more impact when he didn't speak at all than
he did when doing nothing but speak, announcing on April 10,
1981, his intention to remain silent for the rest of his life. Looking
through the hundred-odd volumes that preserve for posterity those
speaking days, one can only feel somewhat relieved that he made
such a decision. But this maquette of silence was quite a hit with
fans even in 1976. All around me people were smiling serenely,
basking in the bhagwan's presence. Swami Hariprasad even sighed
longingly, like someone getting a massage.
I tried to tune in to Big Silence, but the bhagwan's face kept
making me think that he was simply wondering what on earth he'd
talk about today. His audience looked just as thrilled to hear him
not speak as they did when he finally began to test the microphone,
offering it an alternative to silence.
'In the beginning was the word,' he said, in a slow, measured, and
pleasantly clear voice.
I thought we were in for a trek through Saint John's Gospel. I
was wrong. Having let this phrase sink in for some seconds, Rajneesh
continued, 'But this is total nonsense. There was no word in the
beginning, there was only silence. In the beginning was the silence
- this is how this writer should have begun.' Saint John, he informed
us, didn't know what the hell he was talking about - nor did most of
his fellow gospellers. They'd never known Jesus, never been
'initiated' by him, never really understood what he was all about.
How could there be a word in the beginning, the bhagwan asked,
looking around incredulously until people laughed along with him
at poor Saint John's ignorance. The bhagwan himself had given a
practical demonstration: he had not begun with words. If there was
a word way back when the world was just a glimmer in eternity's
eye, then there must have been someone or something to speak it,
he continued confidently. Who or whatever that someone or
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