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hands clasped, and hum. Ma Tantra lit the candle I still had part of
in my ears, then burned incense that made the room smell like a
hut where ham was being smoked over hickory. And we hummed
together, covered by the soiled sheet. We hummed together for quite
a while, too. It made the wax in my ears vibrate unpleasantly.
Finally I thought I would be able to get some sleep. I was wrong.
We had to do the 'prayer meditation' first. This entailed sitting with
arms outstretched, palms up, and head tilted back.
'You're gonna feel the prana,' Ma Tantra promised. 'The prana
energy. It'll flow down your arms. Then you're gonna shake - but
you gotta think like you're a leaf in the breeze, y'know? Let it happen,
man. Let your whole body fill with the prana.'
And when I felt my whole body had filled with about as much
prana as it could hold, I had to lean down and kiss the floor - so that
the divine energy could flow into the earth, uniting heaven and the
planet - which were also, Ma Tantra added, the same as man and
woman, yin and yang . . . 'Sonny and Cher?' I suggested.
'Fuck off! '
Only the bhagwan was allowed to crack jokes around here.
This prayer meditation took another half an hour. I did feel my
arms shaking, from sheer muscle fatigue. Similarly, my body
quivered a little, mainly because my arms were joined to it. Feeling
I could justifiably kiss the rug of dust that amounted to my floor,
ending this prayer meditation, I learned that the whole process had
to be repeated at least six more times, 'Or you're not gonna be able
to sleep properly.'
I doubted this, but there was no way out. Fanatics have to be
humoured, particularly fanatics whose shakti forces you've just
drawn out.
Another convention of the society Rajneesh despised and had
come to transform was sleep. He regarded it as a waste of time,
according to Ma Tantra. After shakti-drawing and our various
meditations, there wasn't much time left to waste on it, anyway.
After what felt like five minutes, she was shaking me, though
ordering me not to open my eyes. This, at least, was no hardship.
Then she ordered me to stretch like a cat, making sure I felt every
muscle in my body receiving the command to wake up.
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