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Too absorbed in a contented apathy to be aware of time,
I don't know how long I sat in the snow, neither do I know
what it was that shook me from my cold-enduced trance but I
remember a sudden awakening.
What was I doing?
Scrambling to my feet, I threw myself through the wind
towards the tent, pushing onwards until, gasping for breath,
I fell against the mound of trampled snow heaped against
the entrance. With a last fearful glance out into the dark, I
forced my head and shoulders awkwardly through the circular
doorway and into the warmth.
'You OK?' asked my companion casually as I sat by the
entrance brushing snow from my clothing and breathing
heavily.
I said nothing but I felt shaken to my core. As I warmed my
feet, hands and face with urgency, forcing the blood back into
my fingers, my mind went over what had just happened in
silent disbelief. Just a few moments earlier I had been willing
to sit in the snow and fall asleep forever. I was shocked at the
betrayal by my own mind.
I had heard stories of people becoming mentally
disorientated by hypothermia but it seemed unlikely that my
body temperature had fallen low enough to be hypothermic.
I couldn't find an easy explanation and it troubled me. It was
frightening to believe that the mind I had considered to be
unquestionably dependable, the brain I trusted, could be so
easily confused into making a potential lethal decision. What
control do we have if we cannot rely on our own mind?
The experience had haunted me ever since. I saw it as a
demonstration of just how fragile our foundations of thought
can be. The brain is, after all, nothing more than chemicals and
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