Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
FACE
While to us, losing face might seem like another expression for simple embarrassment, in
reality it runs much deeper in the Chinese psyche. It's a complex system of stature or shame.
One can lose face, save face, or give face. Loss of face can cause acute anguish, and can
also exacerbate an already bad situation. Losing one's temper in public, criticizing someone
in front of others, or being shown up can all lead to loss of face. On the other hand, if you
know how to give face—make someone feel important or valued—then it can deepen rela-
tionships and improve efficiency.
In general life, if you apply good Western manners, you'll get along fine in Chinese so-
ciety. In business, however, understanding face is critical. Face will affect everything from
how well you can manage your team to how smoothly a contract goes with a new business
partner. Fear of losing face can result in employees sitting silently in a meeting and pass-
ively agreeing to an idea that they secretly know has major flaws. It can gag them from
voicing their complaints about a problem to you, and it can divert a business partner from
telling you that they can't make the next shipment that they promised you.
You'll quickly discover here that Chinese people almost never say “no” or “I don't
know.” It can result in a big loss of face, so these fatal words are usually avoided at all costs.
Instead you might be met with a “Maybe,” “Perhaps,” “We'll think about it,” “That sounds
interesting,” or even a blatant lie. Translation? They can all be ways to actually say “no.” It
can be incredibly frustrating for a Westerner not accustomed to such ambiguous or evasive
communication, and you need to become better at reading body language rather than just
listening to words. If you feel the answers you're getting are strangely inadequate, try to
word your questions in a way that may help the person save face if the answer does happen
to be a negative one.
MIND YOUR CHOPSTICKS
Here are some etiquette tips to ease you into the hearts of your Chinese friends:
• Never stand your chopsticks in a bowl of rice (it's reminiscent of a grave).
• Ensure the spout of a teapot never points directly at anyone on your table.
• Show respect to someone by adding food to their plate or topping up their glass
whenever the tide runs low.
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