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was the whole point of this conversation. Trying not to sound too appalled, I said that they
had free room and board, didn't they? Yes, they said, they have free room and board, but
they are required to pay their airfare to the ship and back home.
They explained they had to earn $1,500 in tips each month to cover expenses and earn
a small living. We got the message. The passengers subsidized their salaries. Doubtful, I
went to the information desk and asked the young Canadian woman on duty what the wait
staff is paid by the month so I could tip proportionately. She answered: “Fifty dollars.”
Shopping seminars were the only lectures offered on the cruise—nothing on Mexico
or Belize, our two ports of call. At the seminar, Wesley and Victoria, the shopping gurus,
told us there were world-class bargains in the ports and passed out a free map with lists of
reliable stores that they said had qualified to insert paid advertisements in the brochure.
Cozumel was especially strong on diamonds, Wesley said, even though diamonds are not
mined, polished or set in Mexico. He recommended Diamonds International for the best
bargains “to round out your diamond wardrobe”; it had won the cruise line's distinction as
the best in diamonds. He asked who in the crowd wanted a diamond tennis bracelet and
many yelled back “me, me.”
“Stick to the stores on the map,” said Wesley. “If you're silly enough to buy something
from a store
not
on the map, then my hands are tied when something goes wrong.”
Each cruise ship has a live production with dancers and singers. Ours began at live in
the evening with an “Ice Dancing” performance starring Oleksander & Tettiana and an
international ice skating cast on the ship's rink. The skating, costumes and music were
captivating. After dinner Tettiana was back, starring in “Ballroom Fever,” a musical pro-
duction with the Royal Caribbean Singers and Dancers that tipped its hat to both Fred
Astaire and John Travolta. Dancers switched from jazzy to period costumes, twirling, leap-
ing and snaking across the stage.
Kathy Kaufmann, a professional dancer in New York and a friend, told me what it was
like to be a member of a dance troupe aboard a cruise ship. She described it as something
you do when you're young, “a little like backpacking through Europe.” The work is de-
manding; the pay adequate. During a cruise on a Holland America ship, she danced in
the two productions each night and then rehearsed from midnight to five in the morn-
ing, when the stages were empty. The artists slept through the day in cell-sized rooms well
below sea level, “which is a little depressing but great for sleeping since there are no win-
dows.” After a year, she said, “I couldn't do that again.”
I thought of Kaufmann watching the dancers on our ship.
The next morning we docked at the island of Cozumel. We were part of a mini-
armada of eight cruise ships that arrived the same day, each adorned with trademark fun-
nels—Mickey ears on the Disney liner, a splayed red tail for Carnival—and each carrying
at least 2,000 people. That meant at least 16,000 people were all getting off at the same
time for an afternoon of fun.
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