Civil Engineering Reference
In-Depth Information
Accommodating
Unassertive and cooperative; an individual accepts the other's position
without pursuing their own. Useful when they are wrong, and when
pursuing the issue will cause more damage to the bigger picture. Not
good if own needs go unfulfilled.
Compromising
Assertive and cooperative; the middle ground. Usually means that each
party gets something and so has some satisfaction. Not good because
the issues are rarely explored in any depth and so the solutions are rarely
the best.
We each have our preferred style and like operating in this comfort zone
but problems often arise when the styles within a group clash. People
who are competitive get impatient with avoiders and collaborators, and
vice versa. Recognising and adapting to another person's preference
will help with creating an effective level of communication.
1.5.3
Interpretation
People enter into relationships with their own expectations, presump-
tions and interpretations. Because people see the same events/facts
through different eyes, it does not always mean they are any more right
or wrong: just different. Conflict arises when interpretations differ and
these differences need exploring so that the reasons can be understood
and valued. The trouble is that most people are either not inclined, or do
not have the time, or perhaps just lack the sensitivity, to be an enquirer.
There is nothing worse than having no clear idea where we are going.
This problem often starts with the initial goals of a relationship/project.
People have a different understanding of the required outcome, or just
visualise an outcome that suits their needs rather than other's. Getting
the 'headline' right (and agreed) at the outset is vital so that everyone
has a common vision and they are heading in the same direction. This
applies as much to a simple business negotiation as it does to a major
project. The headline is the touch-point for all future decisions.
Another problem area, when people do communicate, is whom it
should be with. It is important to establish clear roles and responsibilities
from the start so that everyone knows what is expected of them and to
whom they report. Simplicity is everything. Decisions should be made
at the lowest possible level of responsibility. People's strengths should
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