Civil Engineering Reference
In-Depth Information
taking a position that is different to yours? Why are they interpreting
the same facts and events differently to you? Why is their truth differ-
ent from yours? Why do they feel so strongly about it? - is the key to
understanding.
Of course, there is no point asking the question if you are not prepared
to listen to the answer. Properly listening, and demonstrating that you
are doing so. Which should mean that you will begin to understand
why they see the situation differently to you. Understanding does not
mean that you have to change your view - but it might. Even if you
do not agree with their interpretation you can value the fact that it is
genuinely held. Showing that you respect their position is the next step
to working out a solution that reflects their needs as well as yours. It
leads to cooperation, working together to find a solution to which both
can say 'Yes'.
It is worth repeating the three words:
understand
why -
value
their
views -
cooperate
in finding a solution.
That is the positive side of conflict. It does not have to lead to war or
capitulation. It can lead to a strengthening of relationships and pleasure
at a jointly satisfactory outcome.
9.3
Creating a culture that is positive
Fight or flight is mentioned above as the usual response to conflict. For a
positive and creative environment, one that nurtures and encourages in-
novation and risk-taking, the very opposite of the modern blame culture
needs to be created. An environment where
problems are not buried but are dealt with cooperatively
mistakes are seen as learning points, not the cause for laying
blame
people are supported, not isolated
there is a sense of common purpose and unity of vision
In such an environment people blossom and invariably enjoy their work.
If they are in an environment of fear, they are demotivated and do the
minimum, don't take risks and won't take responsibility. In a culture of
blame there is no incentive to work together to resolve problems, only
to protect your own position and ensure nothing detrimental goes on
the next annual appraisal.
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