Civil Engineering Reference
In-Depth Information
Reviewing progress - often new energy comes from realising how
far matters have moved in the mediation.
Brainstorming
-
getting
people
to
think
creatively,
preferably
together.
Deadline - the mediator setting a deadline for the impasse being
broken or the mediation ceases: this is not a solution that I favour, as
the last thing I want is to suggest an end to the mediation - I would
rather agree an action timetable whereby parties have specific tasks
to complete by a specific time.
One danger of deadlocking is the fear of losing face in agreeing an
outlet. The mediator needs to find reasons for parties to move without
it appearing to be capitulation. Face is an issue, particularly in the
negotiating and concluding stages of mediation. People need to do
deals with dignity.
6.9
Pain-pain
The sad fact is that most commercial mediations are about money and
rarely settle at the amount each party wanted to give/receive. Most deals
are done with a bit of pain. In the early days of mediation, the phrase
most commonly used was 'win-win situation'. It originated from the
topic
Getting to Yes,
which propounded principled negotiation. Win-
win situations arose because the settlement pie was bigger and parties
cooperated in achieving a settlement that met both/all their needs. The
important thing though is that parties are prepared to take that extra
painful step to achieve a settlement, provided the other side are suffering
as well. Shared pain is more acceptable than pain that is one-sided. Deals
with dignity again.
The mediator has a key role to play here. Truthfully relaying the fact
that the other side are equally trying hard, and suffering, to achieve a
settlement, without breaking any confidences, can be very encouraging.
Of course, if this is not truthful, the mediator's credibility will be blown.
Honesty and openness are key qualities of any mediator. Anyway, if one
side is suffering and the other side not, the mediator should be working
harder on the latter!
6.10
Keeping options open
One of the key principles of mediation is that no one is committed to
anything until the deal is put in writing and signed by the parties. This
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