Sense and Sensibleness - Lauren Ipsum: A Story About Computer Science and Other Improbable Things - page 7

“What kind of music do you compose?”
“Oh, I don't compose music,” Eponymous said. “I Compose Ideas!”
“You compose . . . ideas? How?”
“I put little ideas together to make bigger ones. Then I put those ideas together to make big-
ger and bigger ones! And then I put my name on them. You shouldn't let any ideas escape
without a name,” she said. “That's Bach's First Law of Eponymy. I made it myself, you see.”
“Is that why all the streets are named after you?” Laurie asked.
“Yes, I used to put my name on Things. But it's much better to have your name on an Idea.
That's my Second Law of Eponymy.”
“But why is an idea better?” Laurie asked. “You can't see an idea.”
“Because good ideas never wear out! You put your name on a birthday cake, but it doesn't
last very long, does it?”
“No. You eat it right away,” Laurie said. Birthday cakes don't last long at all!
“You can also put your name on a mountain,” said Eponymous. “But even a mountain falls
down eventually. It makes a terrible noise, too! No, the best way to make something last
forever is to take away everything but the ideas.” She pointed to a portrait of a man with
curly hair and a funny coat. “Look over there,” she said.
“That's my friend Andy Ampère. One day, he noticed that when he put electricity through
two wires, they would bend a little toward each other. So he called it Andy's Magical Wire
Bender, and he went around selling it to people who make paper clips.”
“That's pretty neat!” said Laurie.
“Yes, but I told Andy to keep going, to take away all of the Things until he had an Idea worth
putting his name on. He realized he could use his machine to measure electricity by looking
at how much the wires bent. That was truly new—a new law of nature. Nobody uses Andy's
Magical Wire Bender anymore, but Ampère's Law will always be current.”
“But why do you put your name on everything?”
“Names are very important! A thing without a name is like a pot without a handle. Just try
telling a story about turtles without using the word turtle .”
“Well,” said Laurie, always ready to argue a point, “you could say a Green Round animal
with a Shell instead of turtle .”
“Hrmph,” Eponymous hrmphed, “That's not a very easy name, but I suppose it will do. So
how can I help you, child?”