Travel Reference
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but in the eyes of a mature man, well trained by a cleanliness obsessed wife, the whole
place was deeply distressing.
Ben and I made them all a cup of tea as we started work on the kitchen. We worked our
way through the carnage, piece by piece. We washed up everything, we emptied the bins -
which had erupted all over the floor - and put out the recycling. Well, we assumed it was
the recycling. Either that, or Max was hoarding for a massive papier-mâché session.
Back in the sitting room, the students were watching television. It was the first time
since we started the trip that we sat and watched television. The familiar glow of the TV
was enthralling and we felt a sense of excitement as though we had been released from
solitary confinement. Two minutes of channel hopping later, we realised we had not been
missing anything. Even the students were defeated, and switched the TV off with a frus-
trated sigh.
'I'll show you where you can sleep,' whispered Max.
Max's room was on the ground floor, adjacent to the living room. Its floor was piled
deep with clothes, CDs, books and unopened gas bills.
'You can sleep on the floor. Just push some of that shit to one side. I've got a spare
sleeping bag somewhere.'
Wescrapedatthefloorwithourhandsuntilwehadclearedenoughroomfortwobodies.
For some reason Max chose to sleep in a sleeping bag, too. There was no sheet on his mat-
tress, nor pillowcase on his pillow.
'How come you're in a sleeping bag?' I asked.
'I've just never got round to buying any bedding. And I quite like sleeping in this. It
makes me feel like I'm on holiday.'
'You're on a permanent holiday, mate. You're a student.'
'Yeah,' he coughed, 'that's true. Night, guys.'
I hardly slept at all.
The sleeping bag Max had let me borrow was a 5-season one. If I had slept out in the
snowinAntarcticainit,Iwouldstillhavebeentoohot.Inasmall,double-glazed,centrally
heated room in Bath, it was like sleeping in a kiln. I unzipped it most of the way down and
let half of my leg lie in the comparatively cool air. Had I not been wearing my tight Union
Jackboxershorts,andbeeninastranger'sroom,Iwouldhavejustlayuncovered,butIfelt
it best for the wellbeing of Max that I covered up as much as possible.
I had to venture to the toilet in the early hours of the night, and Max nearly shat himself
when he opened his eyes to see a half-naked man wearing novelty underwear tip-toeing
across his room. After a few seconds he registered who I was, and he gave a little wave
before covering his head with his sleeping bag.
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