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'No.Wehaven'tgotanythingatall,I'mafraid.WesetofffromLand'sEndwithnothing
butapairofboxer-shortsandeverythingwe'vegotwehaveblaggedfrompeoplealongthe
way,' I said, trying to reassure him.
'Errr, cool, that sounds wicked, man. You really just started in just boxer shorts?
Respect. Yeah, man, you both seem genuine, but my housemates did want me to check.
There are some dodgy people about.'
'We completely understand. I'm sorry we haven't got any ID or anything. But I can
promise you that we are 100% genuine. We wouldn't be asking random people unless we
were really desperate,' said Ben.
'That's cool. You can stay at mine. I haven't got anything worth nicking anyway, so if
you are con men then you'll be pretty gutted. I'll just go and finish my beer and I'll give
you a shout when I'm leaving.'
By this point, Max's voice had almost completely disappeared, so the prospect of him
givingusashoutwasunlikely.Wehadleftitlate,butby11.15pmwehadeventuallyfound
ourselves somewhere to sleep.
We walked with Max back to his house, which was 20 minutes from Bath town centre.
He spoke - well, whispered - to us about the course that he was studying at university, his
dream to direct music videos and the fact that he had only lived in England for two years.
His dad had worked for the military and Max had spent his childhood at various bases
around the world. In the two years he had lived in Bath, he had already developed a strong
South West accent.
Max was having relationship issues. Sarah, a girl we had met briefly in the pub, had
been in floods of tears. She and Max were supposed to be an item, but then had got very
distressed because she had seen a girl that she liked snogging another girl. It was a very
complicated situation that Max failed to explain properly, but he had basically realised that
his girlfriend preferred girls to him. Ben and I, being 'men of the world', gave him the
best advice we could, and he seemed genuinely touched to have received guidance from us
older, more experienced guys. Although, I have to confess that my experience with lesbian
love triangles is unfortunately non-existent.
Max'stwohousemates -Sonnie andMark-were still upwhenwegotback. They were
playing some computer game on a massive widescreen TV with gigantic speakers either
side.
'Bloody hell, Max. I thought you didn't have anything worth stealing,' I said
'Ha, yeah, well I didn't think you'd get very far with the TV on your bikes. Speaking of
bikes, do you want to wheel them through the kitchen and stick them in the garden?'
Like all other students, Max, Sonnie and Mark were completely incapable of washing
up. Every single utensil in the kitchen was dirty and had either been piled in the sink or on
the cabinets. It was exactly the same as my kitchen had looked when I was at University,
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