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'Hang on. That's exactly what we are. We're just crazy Glastonbury freaks who want to
seehimcoshe's,y'know,Michael Eavis. Wearejustacouple ofsadfreakystalkers, aren't
we?'
'When you put it that way, yeah, we are. It's too late to leave now though. Isn't that him
getting out of the red Land Rover over there?'
And there he was. He was wearing, what I can only describe as, denim hot pants. They
were the smallest, tightest shorts that I have ever seen. To complement these, he was wear-
ing a white vest (the kind typically worn by rappers and wife-beaters) which was skin tight
and tucked into his shorts. As if this sartorial statement was not bold enough, he finished
offtheoutfitwithapairofwellies.Wehadsalvagedclothesfromalostproperty,thecoast-
guard, old people, cyclists and farmers, yet we still fell short of Michael Eavis' eclectic
mix. But somehow he pulled it off.
We walked over to him.
'Hi, Michael. My name is Ben and this is my friend George.'
'Hello,lads.Nicetomeetyouboth,'herepliedwhilstwalkingtowardstheoffice,seem-
ingly trying to get away from us as quickly as he could.
'We'recyclingtoJohnO'Groatswithoutspendinganymoneyandwethoughtwe'dcall
in, as we were passing,' continued Ben unfazed.
'Ok, good luck with the trip,' he replied as he reached the farm door.
We thought that was it. We'd cycled all that way. We'd covered all those miles. We'd
slept in a barn, and endured hunger, thirst, aches and pains. We'd creepily arrived on the
doorstep of our hero, like a pair of crazed weirdoes, and all we were going to get in return
was a brief 'Good luck'. I made one last ditched attempt to engage him in conversation be-
fore he entered the house and was gone for good.
'So, can you reveal any secrets about who's going to be headlining the festival next
year?'
'Ha ha, nice try,' he said, pausing at the door. 'Did you say you were going to John
O'Groats? Come with me, I've got something to show you.'
Now,normally when a man says a line like this to you(especially a man wearing a vest,
wellies and hotpants) you should scream and run away as quickly as possible. In this case,
seeing as it was Michael Eavis, we decided to go with our instincts and follow him.
He led us back past the office and around into the yard. Leaning up against one of the
walls was a huge metal ring, about eight feet in diameter.
'A couple of lads passed through here about 25 years ago,' he said. 'They set off from
Land's End, like you two, and had this huge wheel that they planned to push all the way
to John O'Groats. I don't know why, but they thought it would be fun, I guess. Anyway,
they came to the festival here and had such a great time that they decided they couldn't be
bothered to go to John O'Groats and they never made it any further.'
'That's amazing. And this is the wheel that they were pushing?' asked Ben.
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