Travel Reference
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'Jesus, that's almost as far as we cycled yesterday. And you walked it!' I said. 'And any
particular highlights of the trip for you?'
'The highlands in Scotland are spectacular. If you think it's pretty round here, just wait
until you get to Scotland.'
'How far are you walking today?'
'About 12 miles. My wife and I try to do about 12 miles a day,' he said, pointing to the
pretty young lady beside him. His wife? Nice one, Reg. You da man!
We left Reg with mixed emotions. We had been truly inspired by his achievements, mo-
tivation,andofcoursehisyoungwife.IfIcanbehalfasfitashimwhenI'minmylatesev-
entiesthenI'llbeveryhappy.Butontheotherhand,itmadeusbothfeelthatourchallenge
was somewhat inferior. We were fairly fit young men and we had bikes. He was nearly
three times our age, and had walked every inch of his 868 miles on foot.
Camelford was a pretty little market town on the edge of Bardmin. I say
was
as I am
writing this topic in retrospect. It might be a shit-hole now, for all I know.
Itwas,however,hometosomeverystrangepeople.Wesatdownonabenchinasquare
just off the main street. It was quiet, apart from a drunk over in the far corner, who was
swigging from a bottle in a paper bag and shouting incoherent obscenities to passers-by.
It was almost midday and we were hungry again.
We were approached by an odd looking lady. She was about seven feet tall, mid sixties,
with a mass of bright blonde hair. I thought she was a transvestite at first, and Ben thought
she was a witch. She later became known, between the two of us, as Tranny Witch.
She had spotted me using my camera and had wandered over.
'What are you taking pictures of?' she asked.
'We're cycling to John O'Groats and we're just taking some photos along the way.'
'How interesting,' said Tranny Witch.
Her mouth started to foam in one corner, and the more she talked, the more it foamed.
By the end of the conversation she looked like she had a marshmallow stuck to her face.
She turned out to be a very interesting (ish) lady and told us a story of a pilgrimage of
sorts that she had undertaken a few years previously, when she and a group of others had
walkedtoLondon.Theyhadalsoreliedonpeopletohelpfeedthemandprovidethemwith
shelter along the way. She said the reception they got from everyone was astonishing. For-
tunately,shedidn'tsetoffinapairofpants.That'ssomethingIdon'twanttoevenimagine.
'Remember you're not in England now, you're in Cornwall,' she said as she was leav-
ing. 'Meur ras. Dyw genes.'
'I'm sorry, what was that?' asked Ben.
'That means
thank you and goodbye
.'
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