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David showed us to the attic room, which we accessed via a secret door, a bit like Nar-
nia, only not. It was a big white room with a double bed in the middle of it.
'I'll leave you both to it. The bathroom is at the bottom of the stairs,' said David as he
left.
'So who's having the bed, and who's having the floor?' I asked Ben.
'Well I'm sleeping in the bed, and if you've got issues then you can have the floor, oth-
erwise we can share.'
'Fine, we'll share. But don't try anything funny.'
Annie had created a monster dish of spaghetti and tomato sauce. This was no Dolmio
(other pasta sauces are available), but fresh tomato sauce made from organic tomatoes
grown in their own garden, flavoured with onions and garlic grown in their own garden,
garnishedwithbasilgrownintheirowngarden,servedonplatesfiredintheirownkilnand
with cutlery made in their own forge. I lied about the plates and the cutlery, but they were
veryproudtoshowhowself-sufficienttheywere.NotthatIblamethem.Igrewsomecress
once and I still count it as one of my greatest achievements in life.
The food was delicious. It was the sort of meal that cyclists should eat. I wonder how
many Tour de Frances Lance Armstrong would have won on a diet of Cornish pasties and
pick 'n' mix.
We ate seconds. And then thirds. And then huge slices of fruitcake, presumably made
from a selection of fruits grown in their own garden.
'Do you have any socks?' asked Annie randomly.
'Yes, well, we've got a pair between us,' said Ben. David, who had been sitting quietly
at the other end of the table, spat his wine across the table.
'A pair between you?' he laughed. 'My god!'
'We can't have that,' said Annie. 'I'll go next door and get some socks from our neigh-
bour.'
'What about MY socks?' asked David.
'Your feet are too small, darling. Bill next door is a size 11.'
David didn't have a chance to defend his inadequate feet as Annie had already left
throughthefrontdoor.Ididn'texamineDavid'sfeetparticularlyclosely,buthedidn'tlook
like the type of person that would have had especially small feet. I'm sure we would have
comfortably fitted into any socks that he had, but Annie had been adamant that we needed
bigger ones.
ShereturnedwithsixpairsofthebiggestsocksIhadeverseeninmylife.Ifthey'dbeen
hung on the fireplace at Christmas, even the most generous Father Christmas would have
struggled to fill them.
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