Day 3 - The lawnmower man - Free Country: A Penniless Adventure the Length of Britain - page 44

The Falcon's chain jammed as Ben tried to overtake me at speed on one of the many
downhills.Itwaswedgedbetweenthemaingearcogandtheframebuthewasabletofree-
wheel for another half a mile before we had to pull over.
Conveniently, at the bottom of the hill was The Lappa Valley Steam Railway. We
seemed to be doing an unintentional tour of Cornwall's most popular tourist attractions.
The Lappa Valley Steam Railway was miniature, as it seemed were most tourist things
in Cornwall. We tried in vain to free the trapped chain, but no amount of yanking would
release it. We decided the only way to release it would be to loosen the back wheel.
I queued up at the ticket office and they directed me towards the train driver who was
just emerging from the train. He had a big white beard and every inch of his face was
covered in oil and soot. He looked like a black Captain Birdseye. He happily leant me an
adjustablespannerandIreturnedtoBenwhowasalreadytuckingintohispick'n'mix.We
had agreed that we would save it until we were really desperate. It seemed that we were
really desperate as I too grabbed my bag and started shovelling handfuls of sweets into my
mouth.
It was the first sugar we'd had since the airport and our bodies certainly were wilting in
its absence. I had started to get the shakes a few hours before, and I could feel the instant
effect of the sugar. I have never tried heroin, and never plan to, but I can't imagine that it's
any better than the rush we got from that pick 'n' mix.
We lay on the grass, completely sugar-stoned. Donna from World in Miniature must
have given us at least a kilogram of pick 'n' mix each, and in about 30 seconds we had
eaten half of it. After fixing the wheel and returning the spanner, we continued onwards
with the sugar still racing through our veins.
We spent the rest of the day cycling along lanes that were so quiet that grass grew in the
middle of them. It was lovely and peaceful, but extremely tough going. Despite swapping
bikes regularly, alliances were beginning to be formed. Ben clearly favoured Pinky, and I
preferred The Falcon - despite Ben claiming it was physically impossible to ride it up hills.
Cycling uphill on The Falcon was an art that Ben never mastered. In fact, he didn't cope
much better on Pinky, and she was supposedly a 'mountain' bike.
'These bloody hills!' Ben shouted, getting off to push yet again. 'Why can't we stick to
the A-roads?'
'The A-roads have hills too, you know.'
'Yeah, but not like this. This is ridiculous. We've not seen any flat ground in two days.'
'But it'snice and quiet. Surely you'dprefer to be cycling along these country lanes than
the busy A30?'
'No way. At least we'd get somewhere on the big road.'
'That'sifwedidn'tgethitbyalorry.Besides,it'snotabouthowquicklywedothistrip,
it's about seeing bits of the country, too.'