Day 2 - As I was going to St Ives - Free Country: A Penniless Adventure the Length of Britain - page 37

Pinky had a bike lock wrapped around underneath the saddle, but we didn't know the
combination. Ben guessed 4856. I guessed 1234. Neither worked.
We tried again.
Ben guessed 1111 and I guessed 2199. Again, neither worked. This continued for some-
time, until we realised it was futile. With a bit of effort, we managed to untangle some of
the bike lock from around Pinky and then loop it over the Falcon's saddle, too. To the cas-
ual passer-by it appeared that the bikes were locked together.
The resident DJ was just setting up his kit when we entered the Vyvyan Arms, and there
was a table of men huddled in the far corner. The lady behind the bar was in her forties,
quite short and had the biggest breasts we had ever seen. We didn't technically see them,
but we got a pretty good idea of their size by the fact that she seemed to be resting them on
the bar to stop herself falling over.
'Hi there, are you the landlady?' Ben asked.
'Yes, I suppose I am,' she said, as if she had only just realised it.
'We were wondering if there is any work we can do here in exchange for somewhere to
sleep.'
'We're good at cleaning, washing-up, decorating, and we don't need a bed. All we need
is a roof,' I added.
'Errrr... errrr…hang on,' she said. 'I'll have to check with my husband.'
Scotty, the landlord, was an intimidating looking guy. He was built like a prop forward.
He had long blond hair that was tied back in a ponytail and he had tattoos down the length
of both arms. To contradict his menacing biker image, he wore a t-shirt with a huge picture
of Taz, the Tazmanian Devil cartoon character, adorned across the front.
'I hear you're looking for somewhere to stay tonight for free,' he said. 'We're fairly
quiet tonight and I doubt we'll have any more guests arriving, so I'm sure we can sort you
out with a room.'
'Are you sure? There must be some work we can do in return?' I asked.
'I don't think so,' said Scotty. 'As I said, we're very quiet so there's not much needs
doing. I'll go and check that your room is ready. What can I get you both to drink in the
meantime?'
'Let me get those, Scotty,' said one of the locals who had been eavesdropping. 'Sounds
like you two need it.'
'Right you are, Colin,' said Scotty. 'The next round's on me, though.' Colin, like most
of the other men, had been in the Vyvyan Arms for most of the day. They insisted that we
join them, and we told them the story of why we were in Camborne.
Scotty and Billy - his wife - showed us to the room, where we were given a choice of
beds. The room had two single beds and a huge four-poster bed. Ben and I were not quite
ready to share a double bed just yet, so we opted for the singles