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We did a few laps of the town centre on our bikes to try and get some inspiration of
where to try for accommodation. Carlisle was by far the biggest town we had tried to stay
in, and we didn't really know where to start.
AtthetopendoftownwewalkedpastanextremelyposhlookinghotelcalledtheCrown
and Mitre. It was so posh that it had a doorman. I have never stayed in a hotel with a door-
man.
'Excuse me. Is it ok if we take our bikes into the lobby?' Ben asked the doorman. He
stared back at Ben with a look that didn't say no, but didn't say yes.
'Orwouldyoumindjust keeping aneyeonthem foracouple ofminutes ifweleft them
outside?'
He continued the same stare and didn't say a word. We wheeled them up the steps and
into the swanky foyer.
The receptionist looked up from her computer with the automated smile that she would
greet all guests with, but this soon dropped and her eyebrows raised with a look that said,
'how did you get past security?' Ben gave her our spiel.
'No, we won't be able to help you, I'm afraid,' she said, before he had finished.
'Oh, ok. Would it be possible to speak to the manager at all, just to check?'
Her face didn't alter. 'No, I don't think so.'
'Why did she look at us like that?' asked Ben when we were outside.
'I guess because we look like a couple of tramps.'
'Yeah, but we could've been millionaires, for all she knew.'
'But we look like a couple of tramps, and we were asking for a free room.'
'True. But, even so.'
We tried another hotel - The County Hotel - and got a similar response, albeit this time
with a smile. The receptionist was working alone and had no authority to offer a compli-
mentary room without a manager's consent. Unlike at the Crown and Mitre, it was clear
that if she could have helped, she would.
We then tried the Ibis on Botchergate, which seemed to be Carlisle's main commercial
street. The receptionist was stunning; blonde, Swedish (probably) and had a name that
neither of us could even attempt to pronounce. The more we looked at her name badge,
the more it seemed that we were staring at her breasts. She thought the whole idea of our
challenge was hysterical, and kept asking to hear more details about it.
'So you slept in a barn with a bull?' she asked in perfect English but with a hint of
Scandinavian sexiness. 'You guys are hilaaaaarious.'
'Do you think you might be able to help us with anywhere to stay tonight? We don't
even need a room. We could sleep in the cleaning cupboard,' I said.
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