Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
'You'll regret it. I'm not going to give you any of mine.'
Sure enough, I regretted it deeply.
For some reason, I half expected Ben to be the envious one, but it turned out there was
no competition. For some reason I thought that
'Kipper with Poached Egg'
would be more
than just a kipper with a poached egg. I don't know what I was expecting. Maybe two kip-
pers. Or perhaps three. What is the collective noun for kippers? Anyway, I was given a
kipper and a poached egg. Just like it said. It was very tasty, but I have never felt great-
er envy than I did at the sight of the plate of steaming greasy bacon, sausage, beans, fried
bread, hash browns, mushrooms, tomato, egg and black pudding that Ben was served. I
came close to crying.
Thirty seconds later I had eaten mine, and I then had to sit and watch Ben orgasm over
his Full English. Not literally, of course. That would have been revolting.
We set off on our bikes, just before 9am, at the peak of rush hour. Rush hour in Mil-
nthorpe consisted of an old lady on her way to the greengrocers, and a farmer tightening
the straps on his trailer. Imagine how busy it gets if Milnthorpe decides to have a market.
Because it can if it wants, you know.
Milnthorpe sits right on the edge of the Lake District. As soon as the buzz of that small
'market town' had faded, we were surrounded on all sides by
'the loveliest spot man hath
never found,'
according to William Wordsworth.
It felt like we were on holiday. Technically, we
were
on Day 12 of our holiday, but this
was the first time that we truly felt it.
For the next 15 miles we saw no more than half a dozen cars. The rain had stopped, but
theairwasstilldampwiththicklow-lyingcloud.Itmadethescenerylookevenmorespec-
tacular. Dry stone walls weaved their way across fields before being swallowed up by the
mist. Eerie derelict stone barns were partly visible, and sheep moved like ghosts across the
hillside.
There is also something poignant in the fact that much of what makes the Lake District
so beautiful is man-made. I don't mean the sheep and the clouds - I'm pretty sure man
didn't make those. I mean the stunning dry stone walls, the derelict barns, and the picture
postcard villages that punctuate the area. The landscape itself is obviously spectacular, but
it is man's additions that really give it its character.
We passed through the villages of Brigsteer and Underbarrow which seemed to both be
asleep. I paused momentarily to look at the directions.
'Why do you have to keep stopping to check we're going the right way?' asked Ben.
'There is only one road in the Lake District and we are on it.'
'If there is only one road, then how come we are at a junction?'
'That roadupthere doesn'tcount.That'ssomeone'sdrive.It'sgottobedownthisway.'
HesetoffdownthehillthroughthevillageandIfoldedupthedirectionsandfollowedhim
without double checking.
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