Travel Reference
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'You both have to sing
Take on Me
, by A-ha.'
'Are you serious? You want us to sing that here? Now?'
'Yes.'
'I only know the chorus,' said Ben.
'Me too. Nobody knows the words to the rest of the song. We'll just do the chorus. Is
that ok? What's your name?'
'Bob.Thinkofthesweets,'hesaid,pullinghismobilephonefromhispocketandpoint-
ing the camera towards us. 'I'm gonna stick this on YouTube.'
'Evil bastard,' muttered Ben.
The end of the chorus climaxed in an ear-piercing wail as though a large Alsatian had
grabbed our balls in its teeth. A group of pigeons that had been scavenging on the ground
nearby all took flight on hearing our pain. Passers-by winced as they hurried past. Bob
however still grinned and pointed the phone at us.
'That was perfect. I think you've earned this,' he said, putting the phone back in his
pocket and handing us the carrier bag. It was stuffed full of cookies, peanuts, chocolate
bars, fizzy drinks, jelly sweets, crisps and extra-strong mints. This was one of the biggest
single acts of generosity on our whole trip, and it had come from a scruffy teenager. Our
challenge never failed to throw up surprises.
'Ithink you'dbetter give me those donutsback,' said Toby-the BMXbandit -whohad
reappeared as if by magic.
'Huh? Ok. Why's that?' asked Ben, handing him the bag of donuts.
'The deal was that you got the donuts if you stopped singing, and I just heard you
singing.'
'Oh shit, sorry mate. We totally forgot. This guy came and bribed us with a big bag of
sweets if we sang to him. I thought you just wanted us to stop singing Christmas carols?'
'I'mjustfuckingkidding,guys,'helaughed,handingbackthedonuts.'I'mnotgoingto
take your donuts away. Anyway, I don't think what you were doing counted as singing. It
was painful.'
'Are you guys homeless as well, then?' said a voice from further up the museum steps
to our left.
Weturnedtoseeamaninhisearlytwenties,wearingapairofoldtracksuitbottoms,and
large grimy puffer jacket. His eyes were red and tired-looking and a patchy beard covered
his weathered face. His chapped lips clung tightly to a small rolled up cigarette.
'No. We're not homeless,' I said, sheepishly, realising the significance of the use of 'as
well' in his question. 'Well, we don't have anywhere to stay today, but we do have homes
to go to. Are you guys homeless?'
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