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'Oh my god, this shower is fucking amazing,' I shouted to Ben from the bathroom two
minutes later. 'I bloody love hotels!'
It didn't take me long to get over the guilty feeling.
She need not have bothered booking us a table. We were the only people in the entire
restaurant.
Dinner wasverynice butslightly uncomfortable. Itwasstrange enoughhaving aformal
meal sat opposite Ben, when our conversation on the bikes was usually based around who
could do the loudest fart. It was also slightly odd having a waitress that clearly wanted to
be anywhere other than serving us.
Inthehotelbarafterwards,Jaime-Lea-thewaitress-wasacompletelydifferentperson.
The moment her shift finished, all of her bitterness and antipathy vanished and she was
great fun to talk to.
'So is it true that you both don't have a penny between you, and you've got all this way
scrounging off of people?' she asked.
'Basically. Yeah.'
'Fair play to ya,' she said after necking a third of her pint of lager. 'Suppose you could
do with a fuckin beer then?'
'Aww, thanks, but you don't need to buy us drinks,' I said.
'I know I don't, but I wanna. Anyways, Gav behind the bar's had bugger all to do all
evening. Might as well give him something to do.'
Like the restaurant, the bar was completely empty.
'Is it always like this around here?' I asked.
'Yeah, pretty much,' said Jaime-Lea. 'We have conferences and weddings here some-
times, but it's dead most of the time.'
She took another sip of her pint.
'Stupidplacetobuildahotel,ifyouaskme,'shemuttered.Jaime-Leaboughtusanother
two pints, and Gav the barman bought us a fourth. I'm not entirely sure that either of them
were actually paying for the drinks, as we didn't see any money go into the till. Still, it's
the thought that counts.
'Haven't you got a home to get back to?' Ben asked Jamie-Lea.
'Nah,Ilive inaflat abovethehotel. There'snoescaping thisbloodyplace. I'mhere24/
7, even on my days off.'
She was almost asleep on the bar by the time we staggered back down the corridor to
our beds.
I take huge delight in staying in hotels. It doesn't happen very often, so when it does I
amkeentomakethemostofmystay.IwatchTVinbed,justbecause Ican.Iflickthrough
all of the different satellite channels, because we only have the basic ones at home. I drink
as many of the different teas and coffees as possible. I even drink the herbal teas and have
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