Travel Reference
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'Iprobablyshouldcutthemoff,butthatwouldn'tstopthembeinguncomfortable.Ineed
some real shorts or my balls are going to disintegrate,' I said.
'Thanks for that mental image,' said Ben, 'I just sicked up a bit of my Subway.'
We reached the town of Frodsham, where the town sign proudly boasts its accolade of
'North West in Bloom - Best Small Town 2001'.
Ben spotted a sign for Frodsham Leisure Centre and we followed the road towards it in
the hope of finding some abandoned shorts. The Leisure Centre turned out to be a school,
too. The main doors were locked, but we caught the attention of one of the ladies in the
office who came to the door and opened it hesitantly.
'Can I help you?' she asked, looking us up and down.
'I hope so. Do you by any chance have a lost property?' I said.
'Have you lost something?'
'Not exactly. We are on the look out for some shorts.'
'Sorry, no. I don't have access to the lost property cupboard I'm afraid.'
She had not been particularly welcoming, but we could hardly blame her. We were a
pair of strangely dressed men, on school property, asking to have a rummage through the
lost property. It's no wonder she didn't welcome us in with open arms.
WesatdownbyawallandtriedtodecantsomeoftheLucozadeenergypowderintoour
water bottles. The wind had picked up and the white powder blew all around us, like we
were part of a very ugly snow globe.
The door was opened a few minutes later by a large body-builder sized man, wearing a
running vest and shorts. He had a well tanned face and he gave us a stern look, as though
he was about to beat the crap out ofus.His running vest was a souvenir t-shirt forthe
Con-
iston 14
road race in 1998. I liked that he, along with the rest of the town (
North West in
Bloom - 2001
), was hanging on to the memories of the glory days.
'Can I help you with anything, gentlemen?' he asked in a threatening manner.
'Sorry, we're just leaving. We're just trying to fill up these energy drinks,' said Ben.
'Oh, is that what it is?' he laughed. 'The ladies inside could see you on the CCTV and
they thought you were doing something with drugs. They asked me to come and check up
on you.'
'Oh no. Sorry. It's just Lucozade, I promise,' said Ben.
'No worries. It's just that being a school and all we have to check up on these things. I
thinktheythoughtyouweregoingtotrydealingtothekids.'Hesteppedfromthedoorway
and walked towards us with his arm outstretched and a warm smile on his face.
'The name's Mr Smiddy. I'm the head of PE. You can call me Martin.'
'Thanks,MrSmiddy.ImeanMartin.Sorrytobeanuisance,we'llbeonourway,'Isaid.
'You take your time. No rush. So, they said you wanted to look in our lost property?
What's the deal, are you homeless or something?'
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