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'What can I get you?' said the agitated lady who was serving.
'Hi, we're cycling from Land's End to John O'Groats, and we... ' began Ben before be-
ing interrupted.
'Oh, not this, I haven't got time for this,' she said angrily. 'Do you want any food or
not?'
'Well, yes, but we don't have any money.Is there any work we can doin exchange fora
bread roll or something?' said Ben, trying to win her over.
'No, there are all sorts of health and safety issues. I can't have you helping back here.
You'll have to try elsewhere.'
We were forced to do the walk of shame past all of the smug-looking Morris Dancers.
We had a very similar response from four other places that we tried in the town centre,
including a butcher, a newsagent, a baker and a café. It was not just that we were being re-
fused food - as this was to be expected on our challenge - it was that we were being looked
at with genuine disdain.
On previous days, the responses had always been jovial and enthusiastic, even when
they hadbeen unable tohelp us.InBromyard, however,there was adefinite feeling ofsus-
picion and distrust.
'I think our luck has expired,' sighed Ben after our fourth consecutive rejection - a new
record.
'I wonder whether it's us, or if it's Bromyard?' I asked.
'Definitely Bromyard. This place is full of miserable people.'
'Maybe. Although, we're both looking particularly rough today. Neither of us have
shaved in over a week, we didn't get much sleep last night, and our clothes smell really
bad.'
'But we've still got our charm and wit, haven't we?'
'Maybe that's flagging, too,' I suggested.
OurindictmentofBromyardwassparedbythekindnessofonelady.Justwhenwewere
about to write-off an entire town, the lady behind the counter in Loafers Patisserie was a
ray of sunshine, in an otherwise overcast town. This is a metaphor, by the way; the whole
town was actually very sunny when were there. She giggled away self-consciously as we
told her of our challenge and then gave us each a French-bread pizza and a pasty.
We sat on the pavement outside Loafers and ate our lunch. Just as we were beginning to
warm to Bromyard, and regret being so critical of it, we witnessed one of the most shock-
ing and horrible sights that it is possible to see in this world; a giant procession of all of
thedifferent MorrisDancing groups,joined together inonelongterrifying MorrisDancing
snake. And they were dancing towards us.
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