SOCIALISING WITH THE LOCALS - CultureShock! A Survival Guide to Customs and Etiquette - page 73

or, sometimes, extremely old friends. Note that even if all the
others know each other well and they se tutoient i.e.,speak
to each other in the more familiar second person singular
tense, you shouldn't follow suit until you are invited to—this
may take years.
If it's not a casual occasion and you are meeting people for
the first time, especially older people or those more senior
than you professionally, be formal. When introduced say
“ madame ” or “ monsieur ”, or even the rather passé “ enchanté
(delighted)” and wait for the people to indicate how they
would like to be addressed. Stand up when a woman enters
the room for the first time. Be aware that if it is your boss who
has invited you to dinner, it is only as a courtesy—he does not
expect to be invited back and to become friends.
Don't bring flowers. Your hostess probably already
has fresh flowers, and she wouldn't want to spend time
arranging a bouquet that you've brought. If you want to do
something with flowers, send an arrangement before or
after. If you decide for some reason to bring flowers, do not
bring chrysanthemums, which are generally put on graves,
or carnations, which supposedly bring bad luck. It's best to
ask the florist to send an appropriate bouquet.
It used to be that bringing a bottle of wine was also frowned
upon, as it seemed to insinuate that the host's wine cellar
was not adequate or, worse, created a confusion if the host
had already carefully selected wines for the evening's meal.
Now, however, with a casual dinner among friends, people
often bring a bottle of wine.
When your host shows you into the living room, stay there.
Don't ask to see the rest of the apartment and don't wander
around on your own. Don't go into the kitchen and offer
to help the hostess. Just stay where you are put. Don't help
yourself to the drinks that might be sitting on the sideboard
and don't play the piano, if there is one. Just wait and talk
with whomever else is there, or if you're alone pick up a
magazine or look at the pictures on the walls or the view out
the window. Be patient, that's all.
If there's something you cannot eat, make sure your
hostess knows it in advance. Don't use the dinner table to