Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
to wait for clues and hints from the other party, and gauge
each situation to figure out what comes next. If something
goes amiss, ask yourself first if there's a code you have
unknowingly violated. Yes, there are always more codes to
learn; the difference is that with a friend, you have an ally
in helping you learn them.
THE ART OF CONVERSATION
It's important to understand that the French love to talk.
They love informed, witty conversation on a variety of
subjects. They love repartee and banter. One of the worst
things they can say about a person is “but he has no
conversation
”. If you have dinner with someone, even in a
restaurant etoilé (
a starred restaurant), the dinner will almost
be as much about the conversation as the food.
And even here, there are codes. Don't talk about anything
intimate: they don't want to know any details about
someone who is ill (not even the name of the illness), about
anything dirty, about how pleased (or displeased) you are
with your salary. Do not monopolise the conversation and,
above all, do not complain or criticise the French—even
if your friends are doing so themselves. What with all the
uncertainties in the world, everyone has an opinion on
politics, but that doesn't mean you should express yours
immediately—not about your home country, and especially
not about France.
Do talk about things you have in common—films and
books or an exhibit you've seen recently; travel; current
events (if it is not against the French); an amusing anecdote
about something you misjudged. Compliment the food,
wine and surroundings. Have a good time. That's what it's
all about.
People generally don't split the bill in a restaurant. If you've
been invited as a guest, your hosts will pay for the dinner.
Be gracious, thank your hosts, and indicate that you'd like to
reciprocate the next time. On the other hand, if you're part
of a small group that has decided to get together for a drink,
then expect to split the bill or to indicate that you want to pay
your share. Follow the lead of other people.
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