Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
Parisian Reserve
Art critic John Russell once
commented, “It must seem that
in Paris every door is marked
'private', every notice means
'keep out' (even if it doesn't
actually say it) and all information
is classified.” But Russell's is a
generalisation, one that may not
apply to particular individuals
that you meet.
yourself as someone the French
want to know, you'll already
have met them halfway, but
only halfway, and it is the other
half—that famous privacy and
reserve—that must be slowly
overcome. Some people joke
that if you want to make friends
quickly in animal-loving Paris,
just walk a dog!
Some foreigners have never met their Parisian neighbours;
others have become fast friends with the person across
the courtyard. Somehow, Paris brings out who you are and
responds in kind. If you are someone who is easily irritated
by small problems, Paris will no doubt irritate you most of
the time, but if you see little problems as challenges, you will
approach them with good humour. If you are a person who
makes friends easily, you will eventually break down some
of the barriers of Parisian reserve, but if you too are reserved
in outlook, you will wind up—as is often the case with the
Parisians themselves—not knowing the person next door.
Actually, the problem is not meeting Parisians, for you'll
also come across them in all the places you normally frequent.
Yet, they're busy with their own work and children, and when
it comes to socialising, they already have their own friends
and families. It's a fact that the French are most comfortable
and open with people they already know—extended families
and lifelong friends. That leaves you to strike a delicate
balance, indicating that you would like to know them better,
but allowing them the space to go to the next step at their
own pace. Frankly, there's no easy answer on how to move
from cordial acquaintances to friends. It depends, as with
any relationship, on the individuals.
Nonetheless, there are ways—through inter-cultural groups
and networking with people who have already indicated they
are open to getting to know new people—and by making
sure you let it be known you are interested in making new
friends. You might suggest having a coffee sometime or a
film that you've both said you've wanted to see. Start slowly,
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