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Chelsea Tryouts
We'llwinduptheChelseawildnesswithataleofoneyoungmanwhoshoweduptoaudition
for the Chelsea. His case was heartfelt, emotionally bare. The following event also explores
the philosophical question:
When is weird too weird?
PAUL VOLMER
Atone point, I was interviewing for roommates. At the time, I had an audiotape of
U2 with their song “When Love Comes to Town” that they did with B.B. King.
So when I was interviewing for a roommate, this short guy comes over. He was
very neat in appearance, wearing a dress shirt, a sports jacket and slacks. He had
close-croppedhair.Hecameintotheroomandwewerechattingaboutthevarious
questions that a roommate might want to know. I wandered out to the balcony.
“Well, here's the balcony.” I was talking over my shoulder while he was still
back in the room. And as I was talking, he interrupted.
“Can I get more comfortable?”
“Sure, fine,” I said. I thought he was going to take off his jacket or something.
When I turned around, however, he was completely naked except for a pair
of white socks. Meanwhile, I had this U2 album going, and it came to the song
“When Love Comes to Town.” Now I was a person who prided myself on my
Warholian,dispassionate,“I'malmostnothere”attitude.Justadetachedobserver.
This naked guy said, “Oh I hope this is okay.”
“Oh, it's fine!” I said, thinking I didn't want to rile this nut up.
When it came to B.B. King's guitar solo in the song, he started playing air
guitar with his dick! He was a really good air guitarist. I was dumbfounded, still
trying to be Warholian, but also asking myself, “How am I going to get him out of
the room?” The song ended, and he said, “Oh, let's listen to that one more time!”
and he started going for the rewind.
I jumped in front of him and said, “No, no, I think maybe you should leave
now.”
The spell was broken. He looked shocked and hurt. He put on his clothes and
left. I don't think he was trying to come on to me at all. He never looked at me in
a lecherous way. I think that's just how he felt comfortable, and he probably felt,
at the Chelsea, this is where you could do these sorts of things.
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