Travel Reference
In-Depth Information
disposition of your average Filipino,
this appears to make for a trouble-free
assimilation into the ways and values of
the Philippines.
However, this can lead to a false sense of security,
which over time - as differences begin to surface -
gives way to bewilderment and confusion. There
are complex rules of engagement that govern
behaviour among Filipinos, and failure to be
sensitive to them can cast you unwittingly in the
role of the ugly foreigner, ranting and raving with
frustration at everyone from the bellboy to the
bank clerk.
rules apply with government o
cials, police, ticket
agents, hotel receptionists and cashiers. If there's a
problem, sort it out quietly and patiently. A sense of
delicadeza
is also important to Filipinos. This might
be translated as “propriety”, a simple sense of good
behaviour, particularly in the presence of elders
or ladies.
Yes, no, maybe…
One of the root causes of frustration during social
intercourse is the use of the word yes. In their desire
to please, many Filipinos find it di
cult to say no.
So they say yes instead. Yes (actually
oo
in Tagalog,
pronounced oh-oh, though most Filipinos would
use the English word when talking to foreigners)
can mean one of a multitude of things, from a plain
and simple “yes” to “I'm not sure”, “perhaps”, “if you
say so”, or “sorry, I don't understand”. A casual yes is
never taken as binding. The concepts of
hiya
and
amor-propio
also filter through to the language in
the form of a multitude of euphemisms for the
word no (
hindi
in Tagalog). Instead of replying in the
negative, in order not to upset you a Filipino
will typically say “maybe” (
siguro nga
), “whatever”
(
bahala na
) or “if you say so” (
kung sinabi mo ba e
).
These subtleties of language are symptomatic of
the unseen ebbs and flows of the tides that
govern all social behaviour in the Philippines, few
foreigners ever fully coming to terms with the
eddies and whirls underneath.
Filipino etiquette
One of the major controlling elements in Filipino
society - undetected by most visitors - is
hiya
,
a di
cult word to define, though essentially it
means a sense of shame.
Hiya
is a factor in almost
all social situations. It is a sense of
hiya
that prevents
someone asking a question, for fear he may look
foolish. It is hiya that sees many Filipinos refuse to
disagree openly, for fear they may cause offence.
Not to have
hiya
is a grave social sin; to be accused
of being
walang-hiya
(to be shameless) is the
ultimate insult.
Hiya
goes hand in hand with the
preservation of
amor-propio
(the term literally
means “love of self”), in other words to avoid losing
face. If you ever wonder why a Filipino fails to
broach awkward subjects with you, or to point out
that your flies are undone, it is because
hiya
and
amor-propio
are at work.
If you are ever in doubt about how to behave
in the Philippines, bring to mind the value of
pakikisama
, which in rough translation means “to
get along”. For example, don't confront the waiter or
bark insults if he gets your order wrong. This offends
his sense of
amor-propio
and marks you out as being
an obnoxious
walang-hiya
foreigner. Talk to him
quietly and ask that the order be changed. The same
Questions and greetings
Filipinos are outgoing people who don't consider
it rude to ask personal questions. Prepare to be
pleasantly interrogated by everyone you meet.
Filipinos will want to know where you are from, why
you are in the Philippines, how old you are, whether
you are married, if not why not, and so on and so
forth. They pride themselves on their hospitality
and are always ready to share a meal or a few drinks.
Don't offend them by refusing outright.
STREET KIDS
Despite the very real economic progress made in the last twenty years, millions of Filipinos still
live in poverty.
Street children
(many orphaned) are one of the saddest consequences of this
- some reports estimate around 1.5 million kids are living rough. In Manila and other large
cities you'll see very small children begging for money in the street or dancing in front of cars
at dangerous interchanges for tips. You'll also come across kids aggressively begging for
change; sometimes they are known as “
rugby boys
” - nothing to do with the sport but a
famous brand of glue that they sniff. Many locals refuse to give them money for fear of
encouraging dangerous behaviour - others give a few pesos out of pity. If you want to help,
a good place to start is Street Kids International (
W
streetkids.org), or the Cavite-based Life
Child (
W
lifechild.org).
