Tokyo in Depth - Tokyo - page 28

28

While in the West, the recipe for a full
and rewarding life seems to be that elusive
attainment of “happiness,” in Japan, it's
the satisfactory performance of duty and
obligation. Individuality in Japan is
equated with selfishness and a complete
disregard for the feelings and consider-
ation of others. The Japanese are instilled
with a sense of duty toward the group—
whether it be family, friends, co-workers,
or Japanese society as a whole. In a nation
as crowded as Japan, such consideration of
others is essential, especially in Tokyo,
where space is particularly scarce.

else they'll beat around the bush without
giving a definite answer. At this point
you're expected to let the subject drop.
Showing impatience, anger, or aggressive-
ness rarely gets you anywhere in Japan.
Apologizing sometimes does. And if some-
one does give in to your request, you can't
thank the person enough.
BOWING The main form of greeting in
Japan is the bow rather than the hand-
shake. Although at first glance it may seem
simple enough, the bow—together with
its implications—is actually quite compli-
cated. The depth of the bow and the
number of seconds devoted to performing
it, as well as the total number of bows,
depend on who you are and to whom you
are bowing. In addition to bowing in
greeting, the Japanese also bow upon
departing and to express gratitude. The
proper form for a bow is to bend from the
waist with a straight back and to keep your
arms at your sides, but as a foreigner you'll
probably feel foolish and look pretty stu-
pid if you try to imitate what the Japanese
have spent years learning. A simple bob of
the head is enough. Knowing that foreign-
ers shake hands, a Japanese person may
extend a hand but probably won't be able
to stop from giving a little bow as well. I've
even seen Japanese bow when speaking to
an invisible someone on the telephone.
VISITING CARDS You're a nonentity
in Japan if you don't have a business or
visiting card, called a meishi. Everyone
from housewives to plumbers to secretaries
to bank presidents carries meishi to give
out upon introduction. If you're trying to
conduct business in Japan, you'll be
regarded suspiciously if you don't have
business cards. As a tourist, you don't have
to have business cards, but it certainly
doesn't hurt, and the Japanese will be
greatly impressed by your preparedness.
The card should have your address and
occupation on it. As a nice souvenir, you
might consider having your meishi made

MINDING YOUR P'S & Q'S
When European merchants and mission-
aries began arriving in Japan almost 400
years ago, the Japanese took one look at
them and immediately labeled them bar-
barians. After all, these hairy and boister-
ous outsiders rarely bathed and didn't
know the first thing about proper eti-
quette and behavior.
The Japanese, on the other hand, had a
strict social hierarchy that dictated exactly
how a person should speak, sit, bow, eat,
walk, dress, and live. Failure to comply
with the rules could bring swift punish-
ment and sometimes even death. More
than one Japanese literally lost his head for
committing a social blunder.
Of course, things have changed since
then, and the Japanese have even adopted
some of the Western barbarians' customs.
However, what hasn't changed is that the
Japanese still attach much importance to
proper behavior and etiquette, which
developed to allow relationships to be as
frictionless as possible—important in a
country as crowded as Japan. The Japanese
don't like confrontations, and although
I'm told they do occur, I've never seen a
fight in Japan.
One aspect of Japanese behavior that
sometimes causes difficulty for foreigners
is that the Japanese find it very hard to say
no. They're much more apt to say that
your request is very difficult to fulfill, or

2